Saturday, 20 June 2015

Waste Not Want Not

Waste Not Want Not
Her Indoors is off to Benidorm in a coupla weeks. Hen party. The poor buggers in Benidorm won’t know what’s hit ’em.
Be that as it may, she’s travelling with cabin baggage only. Yes, the ironing board, small wardrobe and tumble dryer will have to stay at home with me.
However, she still needs to carry several hundredweight of toiletries with her, so we’ve been busy buying the 100ml bottles she needs to decant sun lotion, face cream and the like, to get through security at the airport.
Then I realised she needed a re-sealable plastic bag to put it all in, and the size is now restricted to 200mm x 200mm or thereabouts. Not to worry. She would buy one at the airport.
Have you seen how much they charge for them? Not bloody likely. So I bought a box of 200 re-sealable snack bags this morning, 200 x 185 mm. We travel quite a lot, so they would come in handy every time we go away.
When I got them home, however, I learned they’re not 200 x 185. They’re 200 x 85. Oops.

As you can see from the photograph they’re just about the right size to fit a Mars Bar. When it comes to getting through airport security with bottles, makeup, toothpaste and so on, they’re bloody useless.
“That was a waste of two pounds,” Her Indoors screamed, “and you’re always onto me about throwing money away on inessentials.”
I gave the matter some thought and then realised they were not entirely a waste. I have to go for a diabetic check (again) in two weeks, and nursie will require the usual sample. I can fit the bottle into one of these bags, seal it up and prevent any nasty spillage into my pocket.
Her Indoors was not convinced.
“All you have to do is piss in another 199 bottles and we’ve had a result.”
There’s no pleasing some people.

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